i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
