in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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