his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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