Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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