I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
