Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I need water and some morals
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
