She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
