I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize