it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Every concussion has its silver lining
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
