Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
