last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Less talking, more tequila
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
