I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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