the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
