It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize