she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
