I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Congratulations! We have a period
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
