you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
