somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
