Nicole vs. Life
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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