I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
