Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
