she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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