covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
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