I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
