Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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