How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
