Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
