I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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