Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize
