my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
