Actions speak louder than pants.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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