you would pick up someone in the library
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize
