What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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