So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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