He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
