you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
