the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
