I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
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