I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We were destined to go to rehab together
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
