How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
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