I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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