It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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