There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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