Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
