i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
where are my eyebrows?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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