Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
