scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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