I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
