Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Found your dick twin last night
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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