I wanna bring you to show and tell
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
