Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
