I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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