On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
try to milk me bitch
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
