He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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