I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
