Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
