It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
