The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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