It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Randomize
