Well douche your snatch and let's go!
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
