i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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