Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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