I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
