Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize