Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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