I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
